Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The 10 Worst Films of 2011

Well considering it's almost the end of the year and what few films I plan to see I can't see any of them ending up on this list. So here it is, my picks for the ten worst films of the year.

As a film goer this has been a very different year. I use to go see any movie I could fit into a block. I wasn't very discerning. This year I was VERY discerning about what I went to see. I pretty much skipped anything that didn't look any good, wasn't very interesting or wasn't worth my time. Granted I did miss a few that turned out to be great movies but for the most part I really cut down on the crap.

There were a great number of disappointments but they weren't bad enough to wind up on this list. That being said, there are a great number of films on my list that I was looking forward to. I wouldn't attribute the disappointment to high expectations but every film on this list was poorly executed to the point of being laughable.

Without further adieu, here are what I consider the Ten Worst Films of 2011, in alphabetical order.

To me Schwarenegger was Conan. I was willing to give this one a shot but it came off as a hodge-podge of all the bad sword and sorcery/fantasy films of late. Pretty forgettable.

Love Michel Gondry but this movie sucked. I really hated Seth Rogen that I just wanted him to die. I realize that if that happened there wouldn't be a movie...so what's wrong with that?

In blackest day in darkest night...give me back my damn money alright!! Reynolds is fine as Hal. Campbell is a great director, as long as his lead is James Bond. This was a terrible comic adaptation.

The first was hilarious...this one was lazy filmmaking to the highest order. Essentially the same exact movie as the first. The joke is suppose to be that they're going through the same exact thing. The problem is none of it was funny. Alan's actions in this one were so detestable that the film lost what little credibility it had. No one and I mean no one would ever give that asshole a second chance let alone allow him to stick around.

I didn't like anyone in this movie. I didn't buy the characters. The humor was off-putting. Easily one of the worst comedies of the year.

After seeing this I hope and pray that Tony Jaa never directs or writes again. Overly long and the fight scenes are uninspired, it feels like he captured lightning in Ong Bak 1 and forgot what made him so unique now he's just a generic action star.

If you like your SyFy on the big screen, here you go! They obviously didn't see "Piranha 3-D" because if they had this could have been fun 3-D exploitation. Instead it's chum that even the hungriest shark would avoid.

Only the 2nd film ever I considered walking out on...and I NEVER walkout of a movie. The other? Uwe Boll's "House of the Dead."

This had so much potential. They spent too much time on the finer details that they failed to address one plot point that didn't mesh with the original and became over reliant on CGI. Besides the story, acting and directing, the original's stars were the practical makeup effects.

This was so frickin' good that I fell asleep and missed half the movie. It was so good that I haven't even put forth much effort to see what I've missed.


This film was frustratingly bad. I like Snyder as a director. I thought his "Dawn" remake was fantastic. I wasn't a big fan of "300" but recognized his style. I believe "Watchmen" is one of the best comic book adaptations ever made. I'll admit when I saw the first trailer for this it looked interesting.

The opening of the film had me drawn in. I was loving it. However once the transition was made from reality to this girl's fantastical POV of her environment the film completely lost me. I was BORED beyond belief. The transitions made no sense to me. The fantasy sequences lacked any suspense whatsoever. I equate watching them to watching someone playing a video game and they won't let you play.

It was pretty obvious where it was going and once it gets there I was thrilled I could get the hell out of the theatre. Like I said, I was seriously considering walking out on this one which is something I never ever do.

After seeing this it leaves me concerned about "The Man of Steel." Will we get "Watchmen" Snyder or will we get "Sucker Punch" Snyder. That is a seriously troubling question.

Yes I fell asleep during "The Three Musketeers" but no other film left me stewing and looking at my watch every ten minutes. Bad! Bad!! Bad!!!

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